Sunday, March 29, 2009

Chrysler 300C on a Mountain Road

A UCLA professor was conducting a class in decision-making. In his first drill, he picked a student from Texas.

"Now son,"he said" I want you to tell me the decision you'd make in this situation. You're driving a beautiful Chrysler 300C on a mountain road, checking out the corners at 75 miles an hour.

Just as you get close to a oncoming truck, two cars pull out from behind him to pass. You hit the brakes and your brakes , go out ( I know unthinkable in a 300C but just pretend that it happened). On your right side a five-hundred foot cliff; on your left side is a 1,00 foot precipice. Now, son you have 3 seconds. What would you do ?"
Well," the boy drawled, I reckon I'd wake up Billy Bob,".
"Billy Bob!" the professor exclaimed. "Who's Billy Bob?" "Why would he have anything to do with this decision?"
"Billy Bob is my friend, sir, You see he's from a small town and I'd like to wake him up 'cause he ain't never seen a accident like this before.

Monday, March 23, 2009

300C Heavenly Rewards

One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a older Chrysler 300. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Challenger SRT8.
Then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a brand new, pimped out Chrysler 300C.
Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard"


Saturday, March 07, 2009

300C Lady Catcher at Any Age

Harold is 95, he has a pimped out Chrysler 300C.
Every night after dinner, he would drive over to the Senior Citizen Home. He found ita great way to meet women.

Lately he had met Mildred, they drove around a while in the 300C and then parked on lovers lane. They begin to chat and before they knew it there was a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and
asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" 

She asks, "What?" 
 "Sex!!" he replies. 
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" 
 "I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it  for a while." 
 "Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. 

They agree to meet secretly each night he would drive over to the home in his Chrysler 300C.
They would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood. 
Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place, she was missing the 300C ride the most.

Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he didn't have a accident with the 300C and he was O.K. also.
She asked about him,and found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's 
 Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I  don't have?" 

 Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."