Friday, July 25, 2008

300C Through the Trees

It started out as a beautiful day, the sun beatin' down
drivin’ the 300C grovin' with the trees on the CD's
The trees went by, me and dylan were singin’
Little runaway, I was flyin’

Yeah runnin’ with the 300C
That never would come to me
Workin’ on a mystery, goin’ wherever it leads
I’m runnin’ runnin’ through the trees with the 300C
I felt so good, like anything was possible
I hit cruise control and rubbed red eyes

Yeah runnin’ with the 300C
Gettin' what would never come to me
Workin’ with the 300C, goin’ wherever it leads
I’m runnin’ runnin’ through the trees with the 300C

I rolled on as the sky grew dark
I put the pedal down to make some time
There’s something good waitin’ down this road
I’m pickin’ up whatever is mine.


Monday, July 21, 2008

The Tracking of 300C's

The question Is the Chrysler 300C really going to be part of the Federal Intelligent Transportation Systems Joint Program Office, new monitoring program by which the government is planning to track every 300C on the road by using onboard transceivers by 2010, the Charlotte, N.C. "Creative Loafing" reported on this. That is the supposed deadline, automakers hope to start installing them in 300C and less important autos. It is believed by some that the goal is to equip all 57 million Chrysler 300C by 2015. There are reports a group of car manufacturers, technology companies and government interests have worked toward implementing the project for 13 years. They had access to other future viewing software allowing them to see in the future development of the 300C.. Incredible...... I have heard through other ears that the end result will be glowing 300C that will lower everyone's electric light bill. some people who remember who Orwell was, have actually called the proponent of the plan "Orwellian" for describing it.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

300C & White-Collar Workers

A research company surveyed 750 white-collar worker around the United States. The research showed that 81 percent of the people believed that driving a 300C in casual dress improved morale; 47 percent believed that it increased productivity; 46 percent said they considered casual dress while driving a 300C as a attraction to work for a company that permitted it, and only 4 percent thought a casual-dress standard would have a negative impact.
Now if this study is correct then I am sure, companies who give their employees a newly polished 300C SRT8 would improve moral of workers by at least percent; 92 would take off work early to go for a drive and only 4 % would not show up for work at all after getting their new 300C SRT8 because they were so thankful. What company could do such a thing today.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

300C vs Rolls Royce

A guy driving a Chrysler 300C pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the 300C rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Chrysler !"

The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone."

The driver of the 300C says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my 300C!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."

The driver of the 300C says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my 300C!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"

The driver of the 300C says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my 300C!" Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls.

The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car, and the bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.

So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the 300C, and he drove all day. Finally, late at night, he finds the Chrysler 300C parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the 300C.

When there wasn't any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet. "I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.

The driver of the 300C looked at him and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me THAT?"

Thursday, July 10, 2008

300C Roa

A mother and her little son who she thought was a genius, they were driving her ex-husband's beautiful Chrysler 300C. She had gotten the 300C in the divorce settlement because she was a alpha personality and would do anything to mess up her ex. She was driving from Jersey to Chicago because driving the 300C was the only way she could relax.
The son (who had been looking out the window)had looked up and saw one of the last big commercial airlines, turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to check the onboard master of knowledge,they had added onto the 300C, they used to call them computers. So the boy asked the personal master of knowledge , "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The master of knowledge asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" He said that she had.

So she said, "Tell your mother that big planes always pulls out on time."


Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Win a Dodge Challenger R/T

Oh yes this is pretty cool. Have you seen this. Design yourself a 2009 Dodge Challenger ? With a chance on winning a customized 2009 Dodge Challenger R/TTags:

300C Driver Getting into Heaven

Superman dies due to old age. Upon entering St.Peter's gate, there is another man in front, waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter asks the man, "What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?"

The man responds "My name is Joe Noscoviack, and I was the first Los Angeles 300C limo driver, what more could you want "

"Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your silk robe and golden scepter and keys to your new 300C SRT8 now you may drive on the streets of our Lord."

St. Peter looks at the caped wonder, and asks "What is your name and what did you accomplish?"

He responds, "I'm Superman, and "I have devoted all my life to saving people from themselves".

"Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter."

"Wait a minute," says Superman, "You gave the 300C limo driver a silk robe, golden sceptre and keys to a new 300C SRT8 , why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?"

"Well," St. Peter replied, "We work on a performance scale, you see while you flew around playing, he drove a Chrysler 300C limo.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

The Special 300C stretched limousine Ride

She will only ride in a Chrysler 300C stretched limousine.
Well, as a 300C hero I knew that as soon as I saw her, she turned, and our eyes locked, one, two, three I was destined to drive her, the light turned red against the sky. I knew this corner. The park ahead to my right, the bar across the street on my left…the 20 cars following me.
The light stayed red, thank God. She was waiting at the corner. The gleaming white of the 300C stretched limousine reflected in her dark glasses. Yes,she wanted the ride, we were dancing, somehow, with our eyes, my 300C, her white dress twisting around to the ground, waiting patiently with gray flowing hair.

“Giving me a ride?” she said. The words were new to me, I’d never heard them before, said that way, ever.


“the ride? in your limo ?” She purred.

“Sure.” I moved to open the rear door. She positioned herself to sit closest behind me, yet I sensed something. The two small bags next to her.

“You ever done this before?”

“Given a person like you a ride on my limo? No. Never.”

“You think you can?”

“Sure.” How hard could it be?


“Is the bar fully stacked she asked.”


I started the 300C with a roar of the Chrysler 300C 3.5L with Borla Aggressiv Exhaust purring.
“Is that a hill,” she asked me, looking several blocks ahead at the rising pavement.

“If we can get to the hill, we can get up the hill. We've got a Hemi”

She sat across from the bar, tasting the offerings, She was light, a steady weight. Not super-light, but a real presence, a real lady.

I will skip the rest of the dialogue, since the thrill was driving granny, she was coming from tango, she was going home to the 12th Street castle. My name was Alex, I am a professional driver. I had read about a nice elderly woman needing marriage and to travel from 2nd Street and back to her castle in order to troll for a new husband. Granny has advanced 300C syndrome and doctors had advised her to only travel in a Chrysler 300C preferably in a stretched limousine. Her wish was granted that day.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

The 300C Diabolical Scam

Oh woe is me. Over the last several months I have become a victim of a clever diabolical scam.
Simply going out to get polishing supplies for my new 300C has turned out to be quite traumatic.
It could happen to anyone who owns a Chrysler 300C
 Here's how the scam works:
You stop anywhere to wipe the dust off the Chrysler 300 and hot 21 year-old girls always come over and start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, or just rub up against the Chrysler with their boobies doing all the work, remember "Cool Hand Luke", oh my it's almost unbearable.
 You ask them to quit, sweat pouring off your brow, thanking them profusely then offer them a tip, they will say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride. When you agree and they get in the luxurious backseat of the 300C and suddenly they start undressing. One of them usually climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. 

I have had my wallet stolen June 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 24th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming 4th of July weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful where they drive their 300C this Holiday weekend or they too will become victim of this clever diabolical scam.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

300C By a Dirty Window

Manifested in your dreams as you drive the 300C by a dirty window.
No cell messages hiding behind the music you hear.
Between the roar in your favorite song.
The humm of the hemi as it's Jaws are punched on the street.
You look through the rose colored glasses.
A cat looks up from the gutter.
Dogs bark in nightbound alleys.
It's time to take the musical 300C home.
Jukeboxes at dawn, your head unconsciously bops to the songs.
The Chrysler 300C shines in the morning sun.
Ham and eggs by a dirty window.