Saturday, December 27, 2008

Old Lady 300C Drivers

I have nothing against elderly 300C drivers but I came across these and I couldn't resist. Enjoy

*A police officer stops a old lady in a Chrysler 300C for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. 
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!' 

 *A old lady pushes her 300C into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.  
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.  
She says, 'What's the story?'  
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'  
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?

*There's this old woman out for a drive in her 300C and gets her directions mixed up.. She comes to a river and sees another old woman, she had passed by two men,  on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'  
    The second old woman looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You  ARE on the other side.'

*A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding Chrysler 300C on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the elderly female driver behind the wheel was knitting!  
    Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'  
    'NO!' the old lady yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!' 

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Hugging her Chrysler 300C

Coming out of the bank one windy day, I noticed a old lady standing on the bank corner hugging her Chrysler 300C . I said "pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?"

"Yes, I know.' said the lady. 'But I need my hands to hold onto 300C.'
'But madam, he said, ' you must know your derriere is exposed !"

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said. 'Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this Chrysler 300C!"

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Obama's old 300C

Remember all the uproar about
President-elect Obama's old 300C has been for sale on EBAY. You can own it! So can anyone else, but with a minimum bid of $100,000. It only had 20 some thousand miles so is still under warranty. But wait supposedly the bid was up to $119,000 and It has been removed from auction according to the Ebay site, as it is no longer available for sale. What does that mean ? Someone got a deal on a Chrysler 300C that's what.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

300C Christmas Carol

Christmas carol for 2008!

You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep smiling
I'm telling you why:
The new 300C is coming to town.

There is a Chrysler deal once,
There is a Chrysler deal twice,
Because you've been careful and wise,
The new 300C is coming to town.

You are worthy if you've got a new Chrysler 300C
You are worthy if you've got a older Chrysler 300C
You are worthy if you want your first 300C
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY.

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better keep cash,
I'm telling you why:
The new 300C is coming to town.

New Car Finance products are confusing,
Finance products are so vague,
The banks make you bear the cost of risk,
So keep your 300C goodness sake, OH.

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better keep your cash,
I'm telling you why:
The new 300C is coming to town.


Merry xmas everyone.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Chrysler Australia Retiring the 300C


Oh woe is us, it's starting down under. "Chrysler Australia has announced today that it will no longer be providing the official Safety and Course Car for the V8 Supercar Championship Series. The announcement follows four years of Chrysler Safety Cars leading the pack in the premier Australian motor racing series." more

Saturday, December 06, 2008

The 300C Touring

What Makes 300C Touring Special?
The 300C Touring, is proving Chrysler is proving they are helping to revolutionize full size car performance since the 300C is super edgy, luxurious, and extremely speedy. If you love style and good performance, then Chrysler 300C Touring is definitely for you. If you like dull and boring,just take a bus.
The 300C Touring has an “in your face dazzling rolls Royce effect.” The 300C Touring also stands out a mile away and several various grilles are available for it. A personal choice would be the mess grille though.
With its huge body and manly contours, ya manly contours it is pretty hard to resist the 300C Touring. Even though the 300C Touring has a low end luxury car price tag, it is really more affordable—compared to Mercedes and BMW models—with ten times more the wow factor that you will surely get for your money.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Don't Argue with 300C Driver

The nice policeman pulled a Chrysler 300C over and told the middle aged slightly balding Danish man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.

"My 300C was coasting at 40!" the driver protested.

"Not according to my radar,"the red faced sweating overweight bald officer replied,"your Chrysler was moving".

"Yes, I was!" the middle aged slightly balding Danish man shouted back, his face also getting redder.

"No you weren't!" the red faced sweating overweight bald policeman said, starting to get annoyed. His face beet red and contorted with emotion.

Suddenly in a attempt to defuse the situation With that, the middle aged slightly balding Danish man's perky, slim buxom young wife leaned slowly toward the window of the slick 300C and said,
"Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."

Thursday, November 27, 2008

300C Limousine for President Obama




Some people bemoaned the fact that President-elect Obama used to drive a Chrysler 300C. To me and many others a sure sign of class. Now as President-elect, like all other presidents new Limousines are being built for him. I really think this is the chance to get back to basics and have the Chrysler 300C Limousine outfitted as the premier presidential vehicle of choice. While they are at it why not customize it up a touch !!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

300C Animal Workers

First and foremost, people who work with animals must like the Chrysler 300C. While it helps to like all creatures great and small, at least liking the obvious - cats and dogs - is a prerequisite one must have a 300C, as there are approximately 163.1 million dogs and cats kept as pets in the U.S. If you have an average of just 12 pets that means we need 135916 Chrysler 300C for people who choose to work with animals & not be allergic to them. It's pretty hard to relate to pets on a day to day basis if you're constantly sneezing, coughing and scratching because Fido or Fluffy has triggered your allergies. So the 300C is the natural solution.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Speeding in a Chrysler 300C

A guy drove his brand new Chrysler 300C out of the Chrysler saleroom. Taking off down the highway, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through his hair.
'Amazing!' he thought as he flew down the interstate, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, red lights flashing and siren blaring.' I can get away from him - no problem!' thought the elderly gent as he floored it to 110 mph, then 120, then 130 mph.

Suddenly, he thought, 'What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!' So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the Chrysler 300C, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The man looked very seriously at the policeman and replied, 'Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back.'

'Have a good day, Sir,' said the policeman.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Chrysler 300C & Voting

You are voting today right, and of course the only proper way to vote is to get to the polling via a Chrysler 300C of course. As I think about it they have drive through food, churches, weddings, funeral viewing every thing you can think of, why aren't there drive through voting places. Then as you at least can wait in the luxuriousness of the 300C.
It just makes sense to me. Of course if you had some little squissy auto like vechile it would be a horrible experience.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Proposition 300C




A friendly reminder to Vote yes on Proposition 300C. With elections coming up look closely at the long recycled paper ballots as many states may not have it and be sure you vote Yes on the 300C rule changes as if it were there. The question has been brought forth as to whether Is it a coincidence the 2008 SEMA Show starting November 4 at the Las Vegas Convention Center-voting day. Is this a ploy to distract the stock,modified and custom Chrysler 300C there inside and outside the event. There are rumors of already introduced series of aftermarket super chargers for the Chrysler 300C has even said that the 2009 model will highlight a blower to increase power,on top of what is already out there. Will there be polling places near by ? I don't know. If Proposition 300C passes, there will be designated roads for 300C throughout the country. Bless you all.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Smart Use of a 300C

I these tough economic times I would like a creative businessman like this to run my company, wouldn't you ?
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his silver Chrysler 300C to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral.

"Well, then, here are the keys to my 300C ," the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.

"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone I learned that you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Chrysler 300C in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
I liked this story so much I thought it was worth repeating.
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Friday, October 17, 2008

Uplifting 300C

There is so much stuff out there right now that is bringing you down. If you have a Chrysler 300C that in itself makes you feel good that you have it. Tasks as simple as polishing the 300C can make one feel good especially when finished. Everyone has their own taste in cars but in America a car is still much more than a point A to B body mover. Collectors of fine automobiles will definitely add a few 300C to their list of must have cars. It remains to hold a unique place in the minds of people around the world. That's what I think.


Saturday, October 11, 2008

300C Causes Remembering at Orange County Auto Show

Just a glimpse here of the Orange County Auto Show at couple of Santini custom 300C.

The black & white one looks just like the one my friend Ole used on his honeymoon. A funny guy Ole, he told me this story about his honymoon.
It seems Ole, was in his shop in northern Minnesota,working on the exhaust on his 300C when the jack slipped, the handle snapping back and he took a lightning-quick
hit right in the crotch.
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could
manage, he took himself to the doctor
He said 'How bad is it Doc? . . . I'm going on my honeymoon next veek
and my finance, Lena, is still a virgin - in every vay' ya know what I mean ?

 The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willy in a splint to
let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.'He took four tongue
depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all
together . . quite an impressive work of art.

 Ole mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their
honeymoon out west in his custom 300C. That night in the motel room, Lena rips open her
blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched boohoos. She said, 'You're
the first vun. No vun has EVER seen deez.'

Ole immediately drops his pants and replies, 'Look at dis, ..still in
da
CRATE!'

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Drifting 300C Riyadh

There's nothing like rap music and 300C drifting on public streets in Riyadh. Actually the rap was pretty good. Now I'd get arrested over here for doing that, the drivers must know the judge. People who walk must not last long, do you think ?






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Sunday, October 05, 2008

1957 300C stamp

The post office came out with a stamp of a 1957 300C which is cool. All though i as a American citizen can't show it to you. because I am not a news organization. We must control our images. As we know when a government or semi-government office takes something "extremely seriously" watch out. They said we can't show their image. O.K. So go to the post office and buy a 1957 300C stamp Here is my drawing of what the stamp looks like. It's pretty close I think.

Friday, October 03, 2008

300C & Coastal Highway Surprise

A man was riding along in his Chrysler 300C along the coastal highway, when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, The Lord said, 'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The man pulled the 300C over and said, WOW and after thinking a moment 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The 300C owner thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives; I want to know  how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

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Sunday, September 28, 2008

Special 300C Protection

With the financial crunch so many cities are experiencing we are starting to hear about cities cherry picking crimes they will respond to.
For instant I heard that in Backhand, Fla, could mean city residents who don't own a 300C will get only a case number and nothing in terms of a visit by patrol officers if some other type of auto is stolen. This possible policy revision is part of a wider cost-cutting loop. "We're looking very seriously at the types of calls we would go to said a city offical. You know what happens when a official says they take something " very seriously" ," Palmer Bayer Police Chief Bill Bearman could have not said. "Still, about 85 to 90 percent of the people who've had their cars broken into left the car doors open. In other words they promoted and encouraged and if the thief turns out to be a minor the owner could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor

Bearman , however, pointed out that his agency has been hit hard by higher fuel costs and a cut in revenue. So some have questioned the no stopping of a 300C policy, Earlier this year, Berger implemented a number of cost-saving efforts, including a no-idling policy for patrol cars and hitchhiking when possible

Also under review will be whether officers who take marked patrol cars patrolling will need to pay for their own gas or reimburse the city about 50 cents for every mile driven away from the police station. They are working hard to keep the department's nontaxpayer-funded programs running, including its DNA database program that uses officers to collect blood, saliva and other biological evidence at crime scenes.
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

300C & Blondes

 A luscious young blonde drove her Chrysler 300C into a service station. She tells the mechanic it died.  
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.  
She says, 'What's the story?'  
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'  
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'  

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding in her 330C and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. 
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'  

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a 300C on the freeway. Glancing at the car with lust in his eyes, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!  
    Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'  
    'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!' 
 
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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sad Destruction of the 300C

Oh sure the kid seemed likable enough at first but then in Hulk like fashion he turned into somekind of psychotic destroyer of what he even admits is a "awesome nice car" the Chrysler 300C. Where is the respect ! Is this the end of 300C kindness and reverence as we have come to know it?
He apparently knows how to use basic tools at his young age, although he is able to use the frontal wedge and reverse blunt end strikes to a high degree of skill, there was no evidence of knowledge of the sideways, total side "flatter now" technique.
I wonder if he will be Will he be a child left behind ? Smashing aimlessly or will he be able to develop the detailed skills needed to grow into a full blown 300C destroyer, for fun & profit ? Like these guys Crushing 300C I say again and again. Will he be a child left behind, not having the enjoyment of owning & driving as even he acknowledges "Awesome 300C autos" Will he be able to develop and fine tune his unique 300C destructing skills into the world's largest recycling plant and then be able to be driven around in a Hollywood 300C. Only time will tell...........................



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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

300C Camping

Ollie and Lena went for a nice vacation in their surreal Chrysler 300C they had driven for hours and hours and financially decided to stop for the night and do some primitive camping,which was diametrically opposed to the life driving in the most luxurious machine on the road. Another reason was a tribute to the days before the 300C when and they rode the bus.
Then with a stroke of luck the Chrysler 300C materialized in their world the count the peanut contest changed their life. Since then people fell over each other to do business with Ollie & Lena so by camping in the desert it was like the perfect Ying+Yang nature that they were searching for.
After parking the Chrysler in a protected spot and wiping the 300C down for the evening after a hard ride they set their tent up, after meditating on the ying-yang they fell sound asleep.
 Some hours later,Ollie wakes the Lena and says, "hay babe,
 look towards sky, what you see?"

 The Lena replies, "I see millions of stars."

 "What that tell you?" asked Ollie.

 The Lena ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically
 speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially
 billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
 Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
 morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
 insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day
 tomorrow. What's it tell you, Ollie?"



 " It tells me someone stole tent."

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Loss of Church Lady's 300C

I realize the Chrysler 300C is the most desirable car to have possession to but it's happened again in Maryland a pious church going elderly 69-year-old woman's car was stolen Sunday on a "Sunday" I said ! Her property was stolen as she had money left after giving tithe at her church to help the missionary drive and other social programs.
She was in the mist of releasing the liquid gold from it's long thick hose into the open orifice pumping , pumping and as it had it's fill a few drops falling to the 5" thick well worn concrete earth covering surface, as she was distracted not remembering if she left the passenger door unlocked to the beautiful gray sleek 300C ,she may have left her passenger door unlocked while she went to pay at the window. Her Insurance company will perk up their ears at this obvious lack of due diligence on her part promoting the theft of 300C by poor non-300C owners. The police said two men jumped into the woman's car and drove off.
I'm just flabbergasted. I haven't slept at all," said victim Yvonne. Dreaming maybe of the two fast moving men, apparently in good physical shape as they so quickly entered her prime possession. Their rippling muscles glowing in the mid-day heat
While she was gone, two men slid into her car through the passenger door.
"I don’t know how they go in so quick," she said. dreamily, and then pulled out of the candy store of international assortment of consumer products, her last
She said the gas hose was still in the car when the men took off with her 300C. The withdrawal being painful but quick.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

School Board Rents 300C

[a satirical rewriting of a school board junket] Mid-Hilly School board junket cost $36G; Taxpayers foot bill for officials’ renting of 300C and other expenses BY Golly
Scranton, PAScranton, PATaxpayers picked up the $36,000 tab for seven officials from Mid-Hilly School District to attend a conference earlier this year in Orlando, Fla., a Times-Tribune review of district expenses shows. Many brought family members along at taxpayer expense and racked up charges for expensive dinners, hotel minibars and snacks at amusement parks, they got there in rented 300Cs , it is not known how many were 300C but it could be quite a few since their were at least 7 people and wives and children, it is well known wives like to make their own decisions as to color, interior refinements.
Receipts of six school board members and a principal spent about $5,000 per person attending the weeklong National School Boards Association conference.Mid-Hilly school officials spent $20,000 on hotels, which included extras above the room costs, such as working out in gyms and using the minibar. About $2,500 was spent for each official, many of whom rented cars as the 300C. Officials stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel. A director said he didn’t feel the Hard Rock Hotel was lavish, but acknowledged “if we shopped around, we probably could have gotten something cheaper.” but his back he feld bad that people will see the trip as excessive. $592.91 for a Chrysler 300C — and about $155 for meals.With the exception of Mr. Runco, all other officials went over their $750 advance for meals and car rentals and were reimbursed for it, Mr. G. said if any of their 300C expenses were improper, he believes people will do the right thing. Any mistakes would have been by error, rather than malice.“If we have to reimburse something, if it was out of the ordinary, I don’t think anyone would have a problem with that,” he said. I mean what else could they do.
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Thursday, September 04, 2008

A Stud, A Chick & A Chrysler 300C

Down in the city lived a chick and a stud, both of whom loved to play
together.

One day the two were playing, when the stud fell into the tar pits and
began to sink.

  Scared for his life, the stud yelled for the chick to go get
help!

  Off the chick ran, back to the office . Not finding anyone she

spied new custom deep blood red Chrysler 300C

  Finding the keys in the ignition, the chick sped off with a
length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

  Back at the bog, the stud was surprised, but happy, to see the
chick arrive on the shiny custom deep blood red Chrysler 300C, and he managed to get a hold of
the loop of rope the chick tossed to him.

  After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the 300C,
the chick then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the
powerful auto, rescued the super stud!

  Happy and proud, the chick drove custom deep blood red Chrysler 300C back to the office,
and the dude was none the wiser when he returned.

  The friendship between the two lovers was cemented:

  Best Buddies, Best Pals.

  A few weeks later,they were playing around the tar pita again, the chick fell into a pit, and soon, she
too, began to sink and cried out to the stud to save her life!

  The stud thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large
puddle.

  Looking underneath, he told the chick to grab his hangy-down
thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.

  The chick got a good grip, and the stud pulled him up and out,
saving his life.

  The moral of the story?
 When You're Hung Like A Real Stud , you don't need a custom deep blood red Chrysler 300C To Pick Up
Chicks'

Saturday, August 30, 2008

10 Ways to Avoid Foul Play in The 300C Featured in a Movie

I don't know for sure what is going on here But the moral of the story is if you have a nice Chrysler 300C
1. Don't pick up hitch hikers on dirt desert roads, especially beautiful big boobed ones like this gal.
2. Don't drink and drive, it distracts you from driving the 300C
3. Don't carry duffle bags of money , letting people know about it.
4. On days when you think you are getting shot make sure you wear super absorbent shirts like these guys so the 300C interior doesn't get stained.
5.Be glad she is a really good shot and there is no damage to the Chrysler 300C as she shoots the guys 5 times
6. Be really ,really glad she doesn't steal your car
7. She apparently can't drive, which allows us viewers the pleasure of watching her bouncy little strut out into the desert with that bag of money.
8. If one learns Spanish maybe you can avoid this situations like this or not.
9. Make sure everyone chips in on the motel room up front.
10. Always look both ways when leaving motel rooms late at night in the moonlight


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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Toasters from the backseat of a 300C

Toasters in the backseat of a 300C !! could be and if you also have breakfast natural pork links for you cooking also, holy cow. I mean, Chrysler 300C article submissions about the ROI of social contacts with the fairer sex if I may use a old quote but media submissions and model directories can only take you so far as the 300C will allow you to go. .
Think about money wasted on things instead of highly rated 300C accessories, keep your credit card scores up there.
Like , somewhere I heard a story supposedly false but I'm not sure it was proven that the kid stole it or was given access to dad’s credit card to buy a new custom 300C exhaust system for his brothers birthday and to make a long story shorter it got picked up by some news agencies social media, and spread like wildfire. It was completely false one way or another except it was a cool exhaust system, I can't remember which, can you ? But is that important.
What is important is the kid Willie kid used a credit card being in the title/headline. Because guess what? when people look for exhaust systems that’s what they’re going to use. T
How many deaths per year involve toasters? Now how many other random death facts can you find? (you could use the toaster as a nice title to snag attention). Is there anything interesting about how the toaster was build/made? Did toast actually improve on sliced bread?
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Sunday, August 24, 2008

Big John's 300C


The owner advised the new bartender in a suburban bar.
"If you ever hear that Big John is bringing his pimped out Chrysler 300C down here, drop everything and run for your life."
All was well for several months then one day, the squealing of tires became a roar as a golfer rushed in shouting, "Big John's a
comin'!" In his hurry to get out, he knocked the small bartender to the floor.
Before the bartender could recover, more squealing of tires out front and out of this all tinted, coal black 300C, came a giant of a
man with a big black, bushy beard. He strode in through the swinging
doors , using a rattlesnake for a whip. The man tore the doors off their hinges, knocked over tables, and slung
the rattlesnake into the corner. "Gimme a drink," he yelled as he split the bar in half with a pound of his massive fist. The bartender
nervously pushed a bottle of Jack Daniels toward the man. He bit off the top of the glass bottle with his teeth, chugged the contents in one gulp and turned to leave. '
Realizing that the man wasn't hurting anyone, the bartender
asked if he'd like another drink. "Ain't got no time," the man roared. "Big John's a' comin' to town."

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Saturday, August 23, 2008

Onother Reason to Fly on the Ground in the 300C

Once almost had a accident with the 300C. Driving out in the countryside along the coast a beautiful summer day,listening to the radio. I was on the way to meet some friends. I had installed a multi-band receiver, cause I like that kind of thing, listening to police calls to find out where they were you know. I picked up a airplane pilot talking to a control tower, " we're half a mile out and running on fumes, please instruct...over".
There was silence for a moment and the tower voice said repeat after me....."Our Father who art in heaven...................
It's this kind of thing that keeps happening to people flying in the sky I prefer flying low in the comfort of the 300C on the ground, plenty of leg room, choose my passengers. If I ran out of gas it's less traumatic.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Ode to the 300C



It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark with those beautiful halogen eyes
Try as I may, I can never explain
What I hear when I turn your key and press your buttons
The roar in your throat lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me stranded
Oh what a body, such pleasure when I open your doors
Try as I may, I can never explain when I touch you
You don't say a thing as your leather skin warms to my touch
The sound of your hemi says you'll drive me where ever I desire
Smile
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Monday, August 18, 2008

Bride Wants 300C Now !


There are brides and there are Brides. But when this bride heard that there were people were encouraging people to “kill their air conditioner” she flipped and became bridezilla. This bride looks willing to kill if she doesn't get air conditioning in her wedding Chrysler 300C.
That's understandable as after all a Chrysler 300C is the perfect wedding car. I mean I can't even compare it to anything that might even fit the bill. She wants marriage, she wants the Chrysler 300C Now.
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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Fill in 300C

These ____________[fill in] will have you going back for re-fills in your 300C but can also help you dominate in the search for the perfectly tuned Hemi engine for almost any Chrysler product relatively easily, because Chrysler 300C often get higher MPG than the listings in google than just about anything else… but what’s really cool is that these traffic chick magnets tap into multiple traffic pools of their own.

The result: You get a ton of targeted chick traffic for any 300C and as the British used to say "the birds create a presentation like no other of your 300C no matter what color it is. The birds will fly with the Chrysler.
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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

300C & Bird 1

There are some automobiles like no others. The Chrysler 300C is one of these. They sometimes make me think they are like are like birds because they seem to float close to the earth. No that is not real. The 300C plays tag with the earth and stars seemingly on wings of mist and light as it crosses across the evening plain.
Above the clouds, the moon smiles down it's pale yellow eyes reflect on the creamy 300C.
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Wednesday, August 06, 2008

300C for the Mayor ?

Smart people the English, in the city of Kingston it was determined the Mayor's Mercedes Benz was to narrow. So they are likely to buy him a Chrysler 300C to ride in, befitting his status as Mayor. Hear-Hear !! After many pertinent questions were asked like "Which males and females tested the suitability of the car for entry and exit and how was it tested? "What are the insurance implications of the Mayor now needing to sit behind the passenger seat?" More I'm sure questioned the proper color and whether 20" custom rims, hydraulics, supercharger and amid of other details after all the Mayor of Kingston has been a symbol of authority and dignity since Thomas Agar was appointed by James II in 1685. All those mayors having served their office without the pleasure of riding a 300C. It's just sad I say just sad.
base source: The Guardian
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Friday, August 01, 2008

Challenger SRT8 in Auto Lots

Still want to buy another fine auto this year ?
Some Chrysler dealers still have the 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8 on their lots - including a dealer in northern Macomb County, Michigan that has 19 units for sale.
According to Chrysler spokeswoman Curtrise Garner, 6,400 limited-edition Challengers were ordered by customers when they were being built, but a quarter of the cars were set aside for dealers.
An ad for the Chrysler dealership in Macomb count showed off the dealers nine black, eight orange and two silver Challenger SRT8s. So far the dealership has sold just one with four more to arrive within days. Of course dealers are raking in the extra premium price. On its Web site, Huvaere priced the Challenger SRT8 at $45,145 - a $7,000 premium over the MSRP.
“We’re negotiating each price with the individual customer,” Simpson said. “We’re not getting a huge amount over sticker.”
Right - and this is our “we believe you face.”
source Detroit News

Now isn't that a kick in the pants. It's just one of those years where you will have to get a new 300C and the Dodge Challenger don't you think?
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Friday, July 25, 2008

300C Through the Trees



It started out as a beautiful day, the sun beatin' down
drivin’ the 300C grovin' with the trees on the CD's
The trees went by, me and dylan were singin’
Little runaway, I was flyin’

Yeah runnin’ with the 300C
That never would come to me
Workin’ on a mystery, goin’ wherever it leads
I’m runnin’ runnin’ through the trees with the 300C
I felt so good, like anything was possible
I hit cruise control and rubbed red eyes

Yeah runnin’ with the 300C
Gettin' what would never come to me
Workin’ with the 300C, goin’ wherever it leads
I’m runnin’ runnin’ through the trees with the 300C

I rolled on as the sky grew dark
I put the pedal down to make some time
There’s something good waitin’ down this road
I’m pickin’ up whatever is mine.

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Monday, July 21, 2008

The Tracking of 300C's



The question Is the Chrysler 300C really going to be part of the Federal Intelligent Transportation Systems Joint Program Office, new monitoring program by which the government is planning to track every 300C on the road by using onboard transceivers by 2010, the Charlotte, N.C. "Creative Loafing" reported on this. That is the supposed deadline, automakers hope to start installing them in 300C and less important autos. It is believed by some that the goal is to equip all 57 million Chrysler 300C by 2015. There are reports a group of car manufacturers, technology companies and government interests have worked toward implementing the project for 13 years. They had access to other future viewing software allowing them to see in the future development of the 300C.. Incredible...... I have heard through other ears that the end result will be glowing 300C that will lower everyone's electric light bill. some people who remember who Orwell was, have actually called the proponent of the plan "Orwellian" for describing it.
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Thursday, July 17, 2008

300C & White-Collar Workers


A research company surveyed 750 white-collar worker around the United States. The research showed that 81 percent of the people believed that driving a 300C in casual dress improved morale; 47 percent believed that it increased productivity; 46 percent said they considered casual dress while driving a 300C as a attraction to work for a company that permitted it, and only 4 percent thought a casual-dress standard would have a negative impact.
Now if this study is correct then I am sure, companies who give their employees a newly polished 300C SRT8 would improve moral of workers by at least percent; 92 would take off work early to go for a drive and only 4 % would not show up for work at all after getting their new 300C SRT8 because they were so thankful. What company could do such a thing today.
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Sunday, July 13, 2008

300C vs Rolls Royce

A guy driving a Chrysler 300C pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the 300C rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Chrysler !"

The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone."

The driver of the 300C says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my 300C!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."

The driver of the 300C says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my 300C!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"

The driver of the 300C says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my 300C!" Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls.

The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car, and the bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.

So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the 300C, and he drove all day. Finally, late at night, he finds the Chrysler 300C parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the 300C.

When there wasn't any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet. "I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.

The driver of the 300C looked at him and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me THAT?"
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Thursday, July 10, 2008

300C Roa

A mother and her little son who she thought was a genius, they were driving her ex-husband's beautiful Chrysler 300C. She had gotten the 300C in the divorce settlement because she was a alpha personality and would do anything to mess up her ex. She was driving from Jersey to Chicago because driving the 300C was the only way she could relax.
The son (who had been looking out the window)had looked up and saw one of the last big commercial airlines, turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to check the onboard master of knowledge,they had added onto the 300C, they used to call them computers. So the boy asked the personal master of knowledge , "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The master of knowledge asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" He said that she had.

So she said, "Tell your mother that big planes always pulls out on time."

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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Win a Dodge Challenger R/T


Oh yes this is pretty cool. Have you seen this. Design yourself a 2009 Dodge Challenger ? With a chance on winning a customized 2009 Dodge Challenger R/TTags:

300C Driver Getting into Heaven

Superman dies due to old age. Upon entering St.Peter's gate, there is another man in front, waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter asks the man, "What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?"

The man responds "My name is Joe Noscoviack, and I was the first Los Angeles 300C limo driver, what more could you want "

"Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your silk robe and golden scepter and keys to your new 300C SRT8 now you may drive on the streets of our Lord."

St. Peter looks at the caped wonder, and asks "What is your name and what did you accomplish?"

He responds, "I'm Superman, and "I have devoted all my life to saving people from themselves".

"Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter."

"Wait a minute," says Superman, "You gave the 300C limo driver a silk robe, golden sceptre and keys to a new 300C SRT8 , why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?"

"Well," St. Peter replied, "We work on a performance scale, you see while you flew around playing, he drove a Chrysler 300C limo.
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Sunday, July 06, 2008

The Special 300C stretched limousine Ride



She will only ride in a Chrysler 300C stretched limousine.
Well, as a 300C hero I knew that as soon as I saw her, she turned, and our eyes locked, one, two, three I was destined to drive her, the light turned red against the sky. I knew this corner. The park ahead to my right, the bar across the street on my left…the 20 cars following me.
The light stayed red, thank God. She was waiting at the corner. The gleaming white of the 300C stretched limousine reflected in her dark glasses. Yes,she wanted the ride, we were dancing, somehow, with our eyes, my 300C, her white dress twisting around to the ground, waiting patiently with gray flowing hair.

“Giving me a ride?” she said. The words were new to me, I’d never heard them before, said that way, ever.

“What?”

“the ride? in your limo ?” She purred.

“Sure.” I moved to open the rear door. She positioned herself to sit closest behind me, yet I sensed something. The two small bags next to her.

“You ever done this before?”

“Given a person like you a ride on my limo? No. Never.”

“You think you can?”

“Sure.” How hard could it be?

“Okay.”

“Is the bar fully stacked she asked.”

“Yeah.”

I started the 300C with a roar of the Chrysler 300C 3.5L with Borla Aggressiv Exhaust purring.
“Is that a hill,” she asked me, looking several blocks ahead at the rising pavement.

“If we can get to the hill, we can get up the hill. We've got a Hemi”

She sat across from the bar, tasting the offerings, She was light, a steady weight. Not super-light, but a real presence, a real lady.

I will skip the rest of the dialogue, since the thrill was driving granny, she was coming from tango, she was going home to the 12th Street castle. My name was Alex, I am a professional driver. I had read about a nice elderly woman needing marriage and to travel from 2nd Street and back to her castle in order to troll for a new husband. Granny has advanced 300C syndrome and doctors had advised her to only travel in a Chrysler 300C preferably in a stretched limousine. Her wish was granted that day.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

The 300C Diabolical Scam

Oh woe is me. Over the last several months I have become a victim of a clever diabolical scam.
Simply going out to get polishing supplies for my new 300C has turned out to be quite traumatic.
It could happen to anyone who owns a Chrysler 300C
 Here's how the scam works:
You stop anywhere to wipe the dust off the Chrysler 300 and hot 21 year-old girls always come over and start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, or just rub up against the Chrysler with their boobies doing all the work, remember "Cool Hand Luke", oh my it's almost unbearable.
 You ask them to quit, sweat pouring off your brow, thanking them profusely then offer them a tip, they will say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride. When you agree and they get in the luxurious backseat of the 300C and suddenly they start undressing. One of them usually climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. 

I have had my wallet stolen June 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 24th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming 4th of July weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful where they drive their 300C this Holiday weekend or they too will become victim of this clever diabolical scam.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

300C By a Dirty Window



Manifested in your dreams as you drive the 300C by a dirty window.
No cell messages hiding behind the music you hear.
Between the roar in your favorite song.
The humm of the hemi as it's Jaws are punched on the street.
You look through the rose colored glasses.
A cat looks up from the gutter.
Dogs bark in nightbound alleys.
It's time to take the musical 300C home.
Jukeboxes at dawn, your head unconsciously bops to the songs.
The Chrysler 300C shines in the morning sun.
Ham and eggs by a dirty window.
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Saturday, June 28, 2008

300C and Two Huge Miracles



The parents of two young dudes went on a trip to Las Vegas for the weekend with friends. They left early Friday morning in their friends Chrysler 300C SRT8 and the boys were left alone at home. Being home alone, being teenagers and knowing where the extra keys were hidden the only solution of what to do was use their dad's 300C, to pick up some girls and go cruising. Well of course they had no problem picking up a car load of beautiful girls that complimented the beautiful 300C.
They went dancing had a great party with the girls and when they got back to the car after a lot of discothequing, they noticed two huge dents in the rear of the car, they figured someone hit the Chrysler and drove off. Frantically they phoned their friend who was a skilled body man to fix the 300C.
When they got ahold of him. He said they must have the car at his house early next morning. The guy did a quick job on the 300C but was fixed properly and they parked it back in the garage that afternoon.

When their parents returned Sunday afternoon, the boys were terrified all day as their step father was a tough old retired Marine dude. They hoped he wouldn't notice the repair on the 300C. The father went to check the garage to make sure his prize collection of bright yellow screwdrivers were all in their proper place and to get a bright yellow 6.75 inch screw driver that was due for it's weekly polishing. Suddenly in a frantic action and scream he came running back very amazed yelling to the family "Lord be Praised, A miracle has happened! The dent in the back of the 300C that, that big boobed girl put in the back of my car when she tipped her bicycle last Thursday and now it is fixed without a scratch!"

Thursday, June 26, 2008

300C & Golf



Golf cars or, as they are mostly referred to ”golf carts”, are finding their way more and more on locations other than the green grass of our golf courses. This poses a significant road safety risk as these carts are not designed with the safety requirements we find in other vehicles. Therefore it just makes sense that you should be able to use your Chrysler 300C to carry you around the golf course.
The risks are best exposed by reflecting on the latest data from accident research. Injury Sciences found that there were more than 48 255 golf-cart related injuries between 2002 and 2005. A new study has also found that golf cart-related injuries jumped from 5,772 in 1990 to 13,441 in 2006. If you look at the research I'm sure in that time period you will find not one accident involving a 300C on a golf course even though 300C are know to hang around golf courses in one fashion or other.
The researchers have found that popularity of golf carts has risen dramatically with these four-wheeled vehicles used beyond golf courses and becoming a mode of transportation at sporting events, hospitals, airports, national parks, college campuses, businesses and military bases. Again if you use golf carts, the average person is shocked in these circumstances, where as 300C, SRT8 are quite often seen around as the main mode of transportation at sporting events, hospitals, airports, national parks, college campuses, businesses and military bases. Would you rather drag the golf bag, by hand, in a little cart or in a beautiful, comfortable air conditioned Chrysler 300C.
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Smart 300C Owner


Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his silver Chrysler 300C to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $6,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral.

"Well, then, here are the keys to my 300C ," the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $6,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $6,000 in principal, and $16.70 in interest," the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.

"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone I learned that you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $6,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Chrysler 300C in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $16.70?"

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Monday, June 23, 2008

A Real Man's Car in Australia: Like a 300C


"The end of our world is nigh when women fall at the feet of hybrid drivers" title of the article. The guys in Australia, who are some great 300C fans are appalled and more than saddened by the report that came out a while back that 9 out 10 women in America would rather talk to someone who owns the latest fuel-efficient car versus the latest sports car. Also that it's a fashion faux pas to have a car that's not green or environmentally friendly. The article in theaustralian.news.com got emotional saying that if young Australian men believed that sort of American propaganda. The youth not only would sell their beautiful ,300c but that they would insist on hybrid tanks and bombs that didn't hurt trees if they were in a war.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Rainbow 300C Limo





Two Chrysler 300C limo drivers met for coffee one day. As they were sitting there waiting to be called from the base station. Betting which one was going to get a bachelor party and which a bachelorette party . Pete turned to Ole and said "Hey," "why did you paint one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"

"Well," the Ole responded, "if or when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Mafia 300C SRT8 Gone



The Mafia was looking for a new man to drive for weekly collections .
Feeling the heat from the police, they decide to use a cool 300C SRT8 and a deaf person for this job.

If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing and the police would be so impressed with the 300C SRT8 they would be defenseless.

Well, on his first week, the deaf collector drove the 300C SRT8 and liked it so much he stole it.

When the Mafia realized that their 300C was gone, they sent some of their hoods after the deaf collector.

The hoods drove up to the deaf collector with a interpreter since he was deaf and the law required that a interpreter be used in all gang business to prevent errors, and these were obliviously class crooks.

The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da Chrysler 300C is."

The interpreter signs, "Where's the Chrysler 300C?"

The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "Now ask him where the Chrysler 300C is!"

The interpreter signs, "Where is the Chrysler 300C?"

The deaf man replies, "The Chrysler 300C SRT8 is in a green double door garage,right side at 141414 2.5 nd Street in Central City."

The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the balls to pull the trigger...........

300C is a Face


The 300C is the face of Chrysler. It is a wonderful face which lets people remember you easily. 300C is a face which tells who you are, a 300C represents your spirit and a face that wouldn’t make people think you are brother of your competitors. But rather than telling your full story via the 300C, leave some space for people to imagine . Exploring and studying the meaning behind faces and a brand is a deeply personal thing.

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Sunday, June 15, 2008

Peeing in a 300C

Normally one wouldn't think of peeing in the gas tank of a 300C but now a company called LS9. Is developing genetically altered bugs that will pee crude oil. A representative of the company recently said "He gives it a month before the first vehicle could be a Chrysler 300C is filled up on what they call “renewable petroleum. After that, it’s a brave new world”. The bugs feed on agricultural waste such as woodchips or wheat straw, they excrete, piss, poop crude oil. Thus creating burnable fuel for 300C and others. They say that if LS9 used Brazilian sugar cane as its feedstock, its fuel would probably cost about $50 a barrel. Some how burning poop in a 300C just doesn't sound right. more
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300C Fathers Day

Father's Day Gift Ideas, Happy 300C Fathers Day to All
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Friday, June 13, 2008

300C & All the Right Equipment

Not long ago, Ole & Lena went to the Dubb show in Phoenix in their beautiful custom painted 300C, now this was a beautiful automobile and after driving for 3 days to get to Phoenix, through a dust storm in the ferocious desert and then a freak thunderstorm. Ole almost cried at all the crud on his sweet auto named "Denali" the northern American Native name meaning 'the high one' it also means the great one so it makes sense to name his 300C this as it is a highly impressive great auto.

Ole likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The Lena likes to sleep late after staying up late, exercising.

The first morning Ole took the 300C out for a drive to find a place to fish. Ole returned after several hours of fishing, with a big string of Walleye after waking Lena up to clean them he decides to take a nap.

Lena, after cleaning the Walleyes gave them to a nice family passing by that looked hungry. Then thinking hard she decided she had better get some more fish, or Ole would be very unhappy so she took the Chrysler 300 and when to find a lake and although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and instrad of starting to fish, starts dozing off.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"sleeping," she replied (thinking it was obvious).

"You're in a restricted fishing area" he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I am dozing and dreaming of a clean Chrysler 300C" she replies.

"Yes, that is great that you are dreaming of a 300C but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in write you up and confiscate the 300C'' the warden says.

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault" says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you!" says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment."

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

300C Horror Story

This is a horror story that could never happen, in real life as no Chrysler 300C driver would be speeding down a highway lose control and go through a rusty guard rail, then roll down a short cliff, bounce off a large Maple tree, land upside down and finally come to a stop, 20" chrome dub wheels spinning in the air, smoke and steam pouring out from under the hood of the aching, moaning hemi.
Then a passing motorist in a slick black 2008 300C SRT8, who witnessed the entire accident, silently slows to a stop. Being the nature of Chrysler drivers. Tells his beautidul girlfriend she has to wait a little longer to get to the grand resort they were going to spend the weekend at. He crawls down the steep rocky embankment, and helps the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck. Apparently in good shape due to him wearing the seatbelt correctly and the good construction of the 300C. "Good LordO' Mighty Mister, he gasps, are you drunk?"
"Of course!," says the man, brushing the dirt from his suit. "What the hell do you think I am? A stunt driver or something?"

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Sunday, June 08, 2008

300C Speeding Old Lady

An elderly couple was driving cross-country in their Chrysler 300C , and the woman was driving. She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were moving this beautiful 300C at a excessive speed ?"

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE PUSHING THE 300C TO FAST."

The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE." The woman gives him her license.

The patrolman says, "I see you folks drove this 300C from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.
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Saturday, June 07, 2008

Phony 300C Offers

I remember when the Chrysler 300C first came out, it was a super hot tamale, yes sir it was so juicy and intense you couldn't get your grubby paws on one for months. Now after a few years not so hard to get you hands on a nice 300C. But still a much desired automobile. Now there is a scam going around where customers are bilked for charges to long distance and cell phones after being told they’ve won money and a car.

If you get a letter in the mail that alleges to be from Chrysler and informing you have won a brand new Chrysler 300C and $45,000 cash. Chances are good it is A__ scam or B__ fantastic luck. If you picked B and call a certian number to collect your car and money.
You will be one of the people calling the number, and racking up substantial long distance charges and minutes to cell phones.

if they used a pre-paid phone to call the number, before they get off the line, all of the minutes are used.
The bogus check made out to the potential victim accompanies the letter offering the 300C is a fictional town of Rentonville, Arkansas.

The letter also advises the recipient to keep all information away from the general public. "Right"
Since the letter comes through the mail, this is a federal crime. So the old saying goes again. If it sounds to good to be true it almost always is. 300C aren't that easy to come by.
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Friday, June 06, 2008

300C as Rocket


Adam West, my childhood hero, was the original Batman in the 1960s TV series,his batmobile today is a 2007 Chrysler 300C. Over at motortrend.com, they interviewed him.
I took note that he said "It's a real rocket and I like it," West sayed, giving his daily driver a nine out of 10 rating. Maybe he gave it a 9 instead of the 10 it deserves because he is jealous NASA didn't use his "rocket" on the latest Mars Phoenix trip . If you look at this photo from the 300C Condo in Florida, it's obvious they used a white 300C instead of Adam's black 300C with 4 wheel drive and batmobile related license plate...
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Thursday, June 05, 2008

Caught From Above

Did you hear about the guy speeding along in his 300C SRT8. He was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. A officer pulled him over and after complementing him on his 300C he began to issue a traffic ticket. "How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked.
The police officer pointed somberly towards the sky.
"You mean," asked the Chrysler 300C owner, "that even He is against me?"

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Monday, June 02, 2008

Symptoms of No 300C

Now I'm not a doctor or any authority on anything but I hear that a strange symptomatic 300C-itis can occur, which describes the symptoms of no 300C in the garage, expressed by possibly tingling, numbness or weakness that travels from the low back of the pleasure center through the buttock and down the large sciatic nerve in the back of the leg. The resulting lack of horsepower or acceleration can be devastating. The vast majority of people who experience 300C-itis get better when they buy a 300C or 300C SRT8. In a few days pain relief with the 300C treatment will cure the problem. For others, however, 300C-itis can be severe and debilitating and the only cure is total access to a super stretched Chrysler 300C Limo with lambo doors.
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Sunday, June 01, 2008

300C Artist


Driving a Chrysler 300C in the fall of 2005, the unknown artist moved into his second and final New York studio at 55 Eastly 49th Street, and set about again to create the environment he had learned over the years was most congenial to his modest way of life and most stimulating to his being able to drive his 300C that he had acquired through a grant for "Living in the City". He painted the high walls the same lime-green he used on his 300C and on the automobile seats, tables full of hemi parts and tires he designed and fashioned by cutting meticulous patterned groves in the 20” bald tires. from discarded lemon and lime crates. He acrylic enamel glossed the top of a lime metal stool in the same brilliant lime he applied to the latex sheath he made for the radio-phonograph that spilled forth the sounds of the beloved 300C SRT8 roar of the motors from well-traveled records. Visitors to this last studio seldom saw more than one or two new 300C but found, often to their astonishment, eight large hemi made of colored bits of paper he had tacked and re-tacked to the walls in ever-changing relationships constituted together an environment that, paradoxically and simultaneously, was both kinetic and serene, stimulating and restful., green and red, exciting and boring It was the best space, the artist said, that he had never inhabited. Tragically, he was there for only a few months: he died of pneumonia in February . His 300C were stolen by 2 slimy low life step-brothers, one in wasting away in North Dakota, the other hiding out in Nevada. His children robbed of their inheritance joined a cult.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Where a Chrysler 300C Driver is From

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: 300C limo New York
One hand on wheel, one finger out window: black 300C all dark tinted windows Chicago
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: 300C SRT8 Boston
With gun in lap: L.A.
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: 300 rental Ohio, but driving in California.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: 300C low rider custom
:California
One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: two tone green 300C: Seattle
One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 90mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male
One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: silver 300C custom convertible:Texas female
Shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: lowed rear with moonshine load :West Virginia male.
Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: white 300 :Florida "seasoned citizen" driver.
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Thursday, May 29, 2008

Mysterious 300C Photo Revealed on Mars





By now you all have seen this photo taken by the Phoenix on landing. It's true depection has been misinterpeted by mission control and here for the first time by using a special lens filter created by Pete el Tool. We can see, even with difficulty that in this sectionally enlarged photo that the light spot seen in the original photo is really a 300C buried partially face down in the Martian soil. I thought this was weird and could not be possible. A 300C stuck in the ground ?
Then I remembered on earth, In 1974 the experiment to communicate with Mars by planting 10 Cadillacs in the ground and oriented toward space and Mars. Could it be the Martians, some hundreds or thousands of years ago started planting the 300C in the ground to communicate with earth ? Did they implant deep in Ralph Giles brain the desire to create the perfection of design of the 300C ? The question is unanswered, another reason to support the exploration of Mars.
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Only Drive A 300c in British Columbia

Driving in British Columbia for any one other than someone driving a Chrysler 300C, just got more serious. Watching this video, you will learn that the cameras are able to read the license plate number , run it through a computer to find out if used in a robbery, was stolen, or missing current papers. It's hard if not impossible for the viewer to read the fine print at the end of the video, where I alone can interpret the carved hydrographics and read that the device will not work on Chrysler 300C or other variations of the 300. The reason of course is, the computers are blinded by the brilliance of Ralph Giles design of the 300C. Also it has something to do with the ultrasonic acoustic wave patterns set up by the powerful hemi engine, that do not allow the cameras a steady enough read on the plates if it can see it at all. Watching the video may cause more people to buy 300C or SRT8, as they mention this device will be used in all of North America. Soon they will identify all great and small irregularities.

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Monday, May 26, 2008

300C Spotted by Phoenix on Mars

After nearly 10 months speeding across 422 million miles (679 million km), the Phoenix spacecraft just landed yesterday. After plunging into the Martian atmosphere to land near the north pole of Mars. They are proud of their accomplishment as they should be for a fantastic job. But Deborah Bass, Phoenix's deputy principal investigator at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena, California said "The feeling around here is that we are cautiously optimistic." What you did not hear from them was the strange initial photograph that showed what appears to be two 300C racing off in the distance. Here it is smuggled out from the secret mission control Pasadena, California, as you can see the scientists looking with wonder at the 300C


Last year, remember NASA'S Mars Exploration Rover Spirit had captured a westward view from atop a low plateau where Spirit spent the closing months of 2007. It seemed to be a photo of a Martian getting into a Chrysler 300C

In this photo the 300C are even clearer, so there can't be any more argument about intelligent life on Mars. I don't believe the whole project was just a drylab do you ? The question remains did the Martians import the 300C or did they do reverse engineering and create their own version? Time will tell.




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Sunday, May 25, 2008

08 Dodge Challenger SRT on the Street


I read a review in the Chicago Tribune about the 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8 is powered by a 6.1-liter, 425-horsepower Hemi V-8 with 5-speed automatic. It starts out with anecdotes about how people reacted to it when they took it out for a drive. Such as "There was the guy who made a U-turn to give chase--and a thumbs up. Another guy dropped his beer when circling a tree on his riding mower to get a better look. And, finally, the man for whom Challenger was –almost– a religious experience. "
Now I am not saying the following is the truth, in fact I would suggest it is highly improbable and factually non-existent. Such as, they were driving their SRT8 around they were showing the Hemi's 425 horsepower by putting the petal to the metal at each stoplight. They drove the car around doing tireburning donuts at alternate intersections, playing tic-tac-toe with a Chrysler 300C burning in X's , or maybe naked girls waving out the windows getting peoples attention, cops pulling them over and planting drugs so they could confiscate it.
Or maybe people were so impressed by the nostalgic beauty of of it as the end of a era that they just wept.
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Saturday, May 24, 2008

Grandma's 300 to a 300C

A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma in her 2005 Chrysler 300 to visit his grandpa.

When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grandpa's room.

'Grandpa, Grandpa,' he says excitedly, 'as soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!'

'What?' said his grandpa.

'Make a noise like a frog because grandma said that as soon as you croak, we're going
to Disneyland in her new 2008 Chrysler 300C !!!

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Friday, May 23, 2008

Love in a 300C

Grandpa had just brought home the new 2008 300C, he and Grandma had gone for a ride, finally pulling up by their beach house and watched the beautiful sunset and reminisced about "the good old days". Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first started dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?" Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and obligingly turned the idling hemi off.
With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged, you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?" Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.

Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?" Grandpa slowly opened the door to the Chrysler 300C and headed toward the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"

Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

Save $ On 300C Vacation


I'm convinced, when I take my 300C on vacation and since I live in the 48, I will save money driving the Chrysler here instead of going to Hawaii, the most expensive state to vacation in, by far, costing two adults an average of $793 a day for food and lodging alone, according to a AAA survey released this week.The auto club's recommended daily budget for visitors to the Aloha State is triple the national average. That's just food & lodging, so by not eating or sleeping I'll have a extra $793 to use on the 300C. If I go on a week long vacation I will save $5,551 and if I use my whole 2 week vacation I will save $11,102. Almost enough to buy a set of Pimpstar rims for $15,595

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

10 Points of 300C Safely Gone Plan


God forbid the scientists are correct.

A detailed a 'Big One' Scenario For LA today- The "Big One," as earthquake scientists imagine it, unzips California's mighty San Andreas Fault north of the Mexican border.
This is depressing
1. Get in your 300C SRT8 and go east
2. Drive efficiently-means punch the gas petal down on the Chrysler
3. Forget fuel economy
4. Do not observe the speed limit
5. Removal of self and family from LA area increases rapidly at speeds above 60 mph
6. Each 5 mph you drive the 300C over 60 mph will get you out of town faster.
7. Avoid Excessive Idling, Idling gets 0 miles per gallon don't idle the 300C go.
7. Using cruise control on the highway allows you to have lunch while driving
9. Speeding up and slowing down wastes gas, so just speed up the hemi.
10. You may need to add wings on the 300C

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Road Trip 300C Supreme

Coast to coast people find the same fast food outlets at every interchange. If it's 7-Eleven you want, you might as well stay home. Fantasize with me for a little on your next road trip really embrace being "out there" pull in at a Chrysler 300C stop instead of a truck stop. They used to cater exclusively to professional long-haul truck drivers, but since 2005 , they welcome Chrysler 300C and all other Chrysler vehicles, also. (Perhaps you've noticed that they are now often called "travel plazas" and "stopping centers.") They're bigger, too. A few years ago, most Chrysler stops could accommodate only a handful of vehicles. These days, many facilities can fuel and service hundreds of 300C SRT8-and feed their drivers and passengers.
Nearly all major 300C stops also offer travel conveniences like ATMs, high-speed Internet access, self-serve laundry facilities, hemi washes, repair shops, fueling stations .

One good reason to stop at a Chrysler stop is the price of fuel, which is often lower at 300C plazas than in the rest of the surrounding area. One of the best-managed chains, Flying SRT8, provides fuel prices online for each of its locations nationwide. Prices are updated daily, and the company prides itself on providing the most accurate fueling expense data on the Web.

I love to walk the aisles and marvel at the array of merchandise on the shelves. Some of the automotive tools may look familiar, but few stores offer the following items all within 20 feet of each other: an audio tape on New Age mediation, a Browning knife, a Garmin fish finder, an aromatherapy reed diffuser, a genuine wood-grain noise-canceling CB mike, a Joan of Arc VHS tape, a 250-channel preprogrammed police scanner, a die-cast collectible fuel tanker, a metal detector, the complete "Seinfeld" series on DVD, a rocking chair, a deep-fat fryer, an excellent selection of women's watches, cameras, the world's largest assortment of beef jerky and other salty snacks, a DISH satellite "finder meter," a cordless drill, a 12-volt ionizer and air purifier, several styles of small refrigerators, coffee makers, mugs, T-shirts, flashlights, electric blankets.
There's education and entertainment to be had at Chrysler stops, too -- starting with the drivers themselves. I always try to say hello and strike up a conversation with professional drivers. For people who have chosen such a road warrior life, an amazing number of them are garrulous and extremely well-versed on the news of the day. Most have satellite TVs and listen to talk radio as they drive, and they're often eager for face-to-face conversation after a long day in the saddle.
The showers … After a long day of driving, especially if you're on a "speed run", a shower is often a higher priority than a bed. This is especially true if your destination is the arms of your true love, or -- perhaps even more challenging -- the dinner table of your true love's parents. You really don't have time to check into the hotel, so what do you do? One option is to turn in at a budget motel, but $35 to $55 seems steep for a hot shower. Then you notice a billboard: 300C Stop Next Exit. And you wonder, "Do they have showers? If they do, are they only for 300C drivers?"
No, they're not. While 300C SRT8 drivers receive special discounts at the showers, most 300C stops welcome other motorists, too. At some any driver who purchases at least 50 gallons of fuel gets a coupon for a free shower. Don't meet the fuel requirement? No problem. You can have a shower for just $9 to $12 -- a fee that includes a freshly laundered towel, wash cloth, bathmat and soap. (There may also be a $5 towel deposit, but you get that back if you turn the towel back in.) While most travel centers' showers are kept clean and are sanitized regularly, I do recommend wearing flip-flops in the shower.
So, the next time you hit the road, consider taking a break with the four-wheelers. Whether you're in search of gas, snacks, a shower, a roll of duct tape or an entertaining conversation, a 300C stop might just be the perfect solution to what you need.
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