There's Water in the Hemi

Two Quickies-
"The 300C won't start," said a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the hemi."

"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know where the hemi is."

"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the hemi."

"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"
"In the swimming pool."

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A Prayer Before Dying
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his Chrysler 300C.